


I Thought You Were Straight

by jedi_elizabeth



Series: Freezing Heat. [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Denial, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Tanaka has some naughty dreams, rip Enno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2018-11-16 21:06:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11261004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jedi_elizabeth/pseuds/jedi_elizabeth
Summary: Tanaka is perpetually panicked and Ennoshita is anxious to graduate.





	1. Tanaka's Uncertainty

**Author's Note:**

> Hey remember when I said I would probably put the third part out during Christmas break? Haha yeah me too.
> 
> Well happy June.

Ryuu woke up from yet another highly embarrassing dream. He was starting to wonder if it would ever stop. If he would ever stop thinking of his captain. If he would ever just stop thinking. All he wanted was to make it through his third year without having his entire world crumble around him. He wanted to stop feeling anything towards Ennoshita. 

Okay, that wasn't entirely true. He loved everything about Ennoshita, and he would willingly ogle at him all day. The only issue is that he's pretty certain he's not his captain's type. Honestly, Ryuu didn't think he was _anyone's_ type...

Well, that wasn't the point.

Ryuu stared up at his ceiling, listening to the whir of his electric fan. He debated whether he should even try to go back to sleep, or if it was completely pointless to make himself even more frustrated. In the end he got up and made a bowl of cereal. 

He mindlessly watched tv as he crunched on his breakfast. Graduation was in a week and a half, he realized. Soon he would be far away from his friends and family in Tokyo. He had gotten scouted by Tokyo University, and he was completely ecstatic at the time. 

Then he had gotten curious about where Ennoshita was going for university. The moment that thought entered his head he was condemned to eternal agony. 

Okay, that was dramatic, but he was really curious. He wanted to ask, but he also didn't want to know. He was scared that they would be going to school so far away from each other they'd never meet again. At the same time, though, he was terrified of the opposite. What if they were both going to school in Tokyo? What if they were both going to the _same_ school? 

His cereal was starting to make his stomach churn, so he stopped eating and closed his eyes. He layed his head on the back of his couch as he steadied his breathing. It was times like these he started to question what was wrong with him. 

He was Tanaka Ryuunosuke. He flirted with everything with a pulse. He wasn't a very good flirt, but that was beside the point. He was confident in his romantic affairs. With Ennoshita, though... he just couldn't keep his act together. Everything he thought somehow lead back to his teammate. He could be thinking about getting something to eat, and all of a sudden he'd wonder if Ennoshita liked that kind of food. It was tiring.

His mind was filled with gooey, romantic stuff, like holding his hand, and taking him on dates, and giving him little kisses on the nose, and lending him his scarf when it got cold, and the list goes on and on. Ryuu didn't know when his thoughts went from R-Rated to Disney-bullshit. Since when does a 17 year old, hypersexual, athlete with ADHD think about this crap? Most people would think all that crosses his mind would be wondering what the object of his affections would be like in bed.

Now, that was not to say he didn't have those thoughts because he most definitely did. His libido had been slightly out of control since he hit puberty, and he always had a way to deal with it. (He will never tell anyone how. Ever.) He was a teenager surrounded by decently attractive people everyday, so of course he had thoughts. He had never felt guilty about it. 

Until Ennoshita.

He didn't feel right about using him as a sex object. Ennoshita was so much more than that. Now, that didn't mean he thought any less of his other friends he found attractive, but Ennoshita was different. Ennoshita was so special. He was an amazing captain, he was gorgeous, he was determined, he learned from his past mistakes, he was so smart, his hobby was directing (of all things, it had to be something as cool as that), he was organized, he was kind, he was just so... 

Ryuu didn't have a very large vocabulary. It didn't help that his brain turned to mush when he got thinking about Ennoshita. Which was always anymore. Thinking wasn't his specialty, and he figured that's why he was so troubled by the sudden flood of thoughts in his head. Typically his head went through things fast, but when it was Ennoshita his brain would overflow with anything and everything about him. He knew when it happened, but he didn't have the drive to try and stop it. 

Wow, he really needed to stop. 

He realized that in the time he had been non-existent to the world his cereal had gone soggy. He pouted before taking his bowl to his kitchen and heading back to his room. It was still relatively early, and it was a Sunday which meant no school. He layed in bed and thought about what to do.

His sister had gone on a short road trip with some friends, so he was alone for the rest of the week. He knew Yuu would probably be passed out all day like he usually was on weekends. Narita and Kinoshita came as a pair, so he'd have to be with both of them. It wouldn't be a problem, but they'd both want to invite Ennoshita. Ryuu was definitely not up for that right now. 

He sighed and closed his eyes. 

He knew that this thing for his friend wasn't just a stupid crush, but he really didn't want to think of the complications that realization brought. He couldn't be in love with Ennoshita. That would ruin their entire dynamic. He would probably start caring for Ennoshita out of his own selfish desire instead of genuine concern for the other boy. Ennoshita didn't deserve that. He deserved someone who would put their needs aside for his, not someone who would do things for him only to satiate their own desires. Granted, it wasn't really normal for someone to want to do everything for another.

Ryuu flipped to his side and glared at the wall. He needed to get this of his chest. He had to find some way to relieve the pressure on his heart. But how was he going to do that? The only person he trusted enough already knew, and Yuu has explicitly stated he didn't want to hear him whining about it. He'd said something about growing a pair. Ryuu wasn't really listening because he was too busy wallowing in his self pity. 

...Just like he was now. He sighed again.

What if he just confessed? 

.

.

_Oh, no._

Now that thought had been implanted in his head, and it wasn't going anywhere. Theoretically, he knew it was a good idea, but ice cold anxiety rushed through his veins. Ryuu was absolutely petrified of what Ennoshita's reaction would be. He obviously wouldn't be mean about it, but Ryuu had no doubt he'd face rejection. Just the thought made his stomach twist and his heart skip a few beats.

He knew he had to distract himself, so he went downstairs to try and run around and tire himself out. He nearly fell down the stairs in his haste, and that caused his heart to beat even faster. His mind was all over the place and his hands were shaking and his throat was closing up. 

Just as he was a bout to work himself into a full blown panic he heard a knock at his door. He blinked through his haze enough to turn towards the door. Of course someone had to show up at his door right in the middle of all that. Now he'd have to think up a reason for looking like shit. he shook his head and went to open the door, and he opened his mouth to ask something but-

_Oh_

Ennoshita was at his door.


	2. Ennoshita's Uncertainties

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh sorry this took me so long, I was on vacation and didn't have time to write. I'll try to get chapters out more frequently, but I'm gonna be really busy for a bit, so I can't promise anything.

_Oh, fuck._

Ryuu gaped at the boy standing at his door. He was not prepared for this. Not one bit. Honestly, this was the last thing he thought would happen to him today, but he was used to things not going to plan. Ryuu prided himself on his mental strength, so he wouldn't let this bother him!

"Tanaka," Ryuu jolted out of his thoughts to listen to Ennoshita, "I'm sorry to show up out of the blue, but I just needed to..." Ennoshita looked to the side before sighing and slumping his shoulders, "I just didn't want to be alone."

 _Oh_ , Ryuu thought.

"What's wrong?" He asked. Ennoshita wasn't the type to admit to any kind of weakness, so something must be seriously wrong.

Ennoshita made eye contact with Ryuu, and he looked like he'd aged 50 years, "I'll tell you eventually, just... can we just hang out for a bit?"

Ryuu nodded his head and moved aside to let the other boy in. Ennoshita tied out of his shoes and mumbled and apology for intruding. He followed Ryuu to the living room and plopped on the couch. 

"You wanna watch some Ghibli stuff? I know you like it, and I've been in a seriously Howl mood lately," Ryuu held up the movie and grinned. The other boy's lips quirked up a little, and he nodded.

After he put the movie in, Ryuu sat next to Ennoshita on the couch. He was careful not to be so close it was creepy, but still close enough that he could feel the warmth radiating off Ennoshita. 

Ryuu was lying about wanting to watch the movie, but he knew it was one of Ennoshita's favorites. Instead of watching the movie he watched his friend. He didn't often get the chance to ogle without consequences, so he jumped at the chance. He started at his hair, he never understood how he kept it so silky looking, and he ached with the need to brush a stray piece away from his forehead. Ryuu scanned his face and marvelled at how soft his skin looked. He looked at his eyes and almost sighed at how gorgeous they were. He didn't really know why he likes them so much, they were just brown, and most people said they always looked tired. Right now, though, they really did. He looked like he hadn't been sleeping, which really isn't that rare for Ennoshita since he always had so much to do, but it always cause a wave of concern to roll over Ryuu's body. He flicked his gaze down to the straight line of his nose and smiled when it scrunched up in response to something that must be happening on the TV. Ryuu got distracted by his cheekbones, and the subtle line of his jaw. Ennoshita was more chiseled than most people noticed, and Ryuu loved it. His eyes swept over to his lips and he almost groaned. The amount of dreams he'd had about those lips-- those lips on his, those lips on his neck, his chest, his hips, his thighs, those lips sucking, licking, leaving marks, those lips wrapped around his-- 

_Okay_ , Ryuu thought, _that's enough of that._

He decided to keep moving down, as if it was a good idea, but he had never had much impulse control in the first place and wasn't that surprised. He trailed down the long expanse of Ennoshita's neck and swallowed thickly. All he could think about was biting the pale skin, leaving some sort of mark on the otherwise unblemished skin. He snapped his eyes down to the collar of his t-shirt, and his eyes got caught on his protruding collar bones. Almost immediately he could feel his entire body flush with color. He was so, so weak to collar bones. They sparked some sort of primal urge in his stomach, like he needed to mark his territory. (He never delved into the realization that the urge only came when it was Ennoshita he was thinking about.)

Ryuu moved onto his arms. They weren't as impressive as his own, but he still thought they were beautiful. Discreetly defined muscle wrapped in beautiful pale skin with a few moles dotting around his elbow and wrist. He looked at his hands next and wondered how so many parts of one person could make him react in so many different ways. He knew hands shouldn't turn him on so much, but he couldn't help it. He just associated them with so many things that he shouldn't have. He just wanted those hands all over him. Caressing, gripping, scratching-- definitely the scratching. 

He felt a shiver run through his body and he knew he had to get out of the room before he jumped Ennoshita on the damm couch. He racked his brain for an excuse to leave, but he really wasn't smart and was at a loss. Honestly just walking out of the room was starting to sound like a decent idea. At least then he could take a breather and not do something he could regret. He was about to get up and glee when he heard Ennoshita take a deep breath.

"I need to tell you something," Ennoshita said quietly, but his voice was firm. Tanaka cocked his head in confusion and waited for his friend to continue, "I've known this for a while, but I never told any one because I wasn't sure how anyone would react, and I was honestly kind of terrified of everyone hating me, but I can't just keep quiet anymore because I feel like I'm drowning and it's just too much and-" he stopped and closed his eyes.

Ryuu put his hand on his shoulder and smiled because like hell was he gonna let Ennoshita think like that. He was a damn angel, and he would do just about anything to mark him realize that. He was starting to devise son plan in his head to do just that when he heard his friends shaky voice. 

"Tanaka, I'm gay..."

"Oh, thank god!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Any comments would be nice, please tell me how to improve lol constructive criticism is desperately accepted


	3. Ryuu Swoons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I'm very bad at updating! But this is the last chapter, and it's been a long time coming. Also major brownie points to my pal Emma for being my merciless beta this time around.

"I'm gay."

"Oh, thank God."

Ryuu felt a million emotions at once. First, relief that something serious wasn't going on. He was getting worried watching Ennoshita ramble. He only does that when he was really nervous, and Ryuu always got worried when he was nervous.

Second, he was confused. For some reason, he never even thought that Ennoshita could possibly like guys. He was probably just trying to protect himself. False hope was the absolute worst. 

And third.

_Holy shit, holy shit, oh my god, he's gay. He likes guys. I have a chance. No. Wait. He didn't come tell me this so I could make it about me. Why did he even tell me? Isn't he closer with Kinoshita and Narita? What the hell is he doing telling me?_

"What- what do you mean 'thank god'?" Ennoshita looked confused and ready to bolt any second. Ryuu didn't even process what he said until his friend spoke, and he felt a rush of fear through his veins. 

"I just- I mean-" Ryuu ran his hand down his face, he really was an idiot, wasn't he? He continued, "I'm just glad it isn't something serious, you know? I was scared you were gonna tell me you were on the run from the feds or some shit."

Ryuu scrunched his face up in confusion at his own words. He didn't mean to say that last part. He hoped he hadn't just completely lose Ennoshita's respect. Did he even have that in the first place? Probably not. He should probably work on that later. 

His rampant train of thought was interrupted by a huff of laughter. It was small, but Ryuu was just glad he was smiling.

Ennoshita looked at him. "You don't care? I mean, not that I thought you would, I just..." He rubbed the back of his neck as he looked to the side. 

"I mean, I care, but only 'cause, like, it's an important part of you?" Ryuu outwardly cringed at his words. He just wanted Ennoshita to know he accepted him, but apparently, his brain had other plans.

"Ryuu," Ennoshita started quietly. He was smiling, and Ryuu's heart was attempting to claw its way out of his chest. Honestly, if he wasn't visibly blushing he'd be surprised. "I don't think you know how much it means to me that you support me. Well, I know you don't know. It's hard knowing the majority of people don't accept who you are."

Boy, did Ryuu have a bomb to drop.

"Ennoshita, I know it's hard, and I'm always here if you need me. Just, um..." he took a deep breath and tried to level his heart beat. He could hear his blood rushing in his ears, and he could feel his palms sweating. Why was he so nervous? Ennoshita wouldn’t have an issue with this. He knew he wouldn't, but Ryuu still felt like he was gonna throw up.

"Ryuu, are you okay?"

"I'm bi!" He nearly yelled. He immediately felt relieved. He didn't realize how heavy keeping it from everyone had felt. 

Ennoshita was just staring at him. His lips were slightly parted in surprise, which wasn't surprising at all. He actually looked more relaxed than he had before Ryuu said anything. It was obvious that he was thinking a million thoughts at once. 

It was exactly what Ryuu expected, but he was taking too long. Why wasn't he saying anything? 

"Hey, uh, you okay? I mean, like, that was kind of a huge thing to suddenly blurt out, I get it, but you're just, uh, staring... and..." Ryuu heard his voice wobble and shake. It felt like something was stuck in his throat, and it was expanding by the second. "Ennoshita?"

The other boy looked at the ceiling and swallowed. Ryuu thought he looked conflicted, like he was trying to solve a hard math problem in his head. 

"Chikara?"

Ennoshita snapped his head down to gape at that. Ryuu had always been scared to use his given name, it felt too intimate. Like it was some forbidden taboo. 

"Sorry, I'm sorry, I just-" Ennoshita put his head in his hands and sighed, "I could've stayed blissfully ignorant, Ryuu. I could have. Really. I would've been able to live not knowing I maybe had a chance. But now. Now I have hope, and that's bad because now you're gonna have to reject me, and it's gonna hurt more than never having you would. Seriously, Ryuu, did you really have to get my hopes up?" His voice cracked on the last few words of his rant, and his shoulders started shaking.

"Hold on, what?!" Ryuu was so confused. That seemed to be the theme of the day. 

Ennoshita took a deep breath before he made eye contact. 

"I've been in love with you since our first year, and I never thought in a million years that you'd like me. Well, that you'd like guys in general, but mostly me. I mean, I'm not really much to look at, and I'm pretty boring when you think about it. I was never gonna tell you and just hope it'd go away, but it didn't! And now I'm on your couch confessing my love like a complete idiot, and..." He trailed off and put his face in his hands. "Oh my god, I can't believe I just said that."

Ryuu couldn't handle this. His entire body felt warm, and he had to physically restrain himself from pouncing. Such a rush of affection flowed through him at that moment that it was almost debilitating. It felt like he couldn't breathe, but it was also like the world had been lifted from his shoulders.

He didn't know how long it took him to snap himself out of it, but before long he was gently grabbing at Ennoshita's wrists. The other boy resisted a bit, but he relented eventually and allowed Ryuu to take his hands. As they interlaced, Ryuu couldn't help but fixate on how amazing it looked.

After he could feel Ennoshita calm down, he whispered, "I love you too, Captain."

All Ryuu could hear was the clock as it ticked in the background and the neighborhood bustling about like usual, but this moment was anything _but_ usual. He barely had time to breathe before he was being tackled into the couch, and the next thing he knew there was a mouth on his.

He grabbed Chikara by the hips (hallelujah) and completely lost himself in the feeling. All he could smell was Chikara, all he could hear was Chikara, all he could taste was Chikara. Everything was just Chikara, Chikara, Chikara.

Eventually, they pulled away, panting and smiling. 

Ryuu tipped his head back and sighed, still looking at Chikara, "Best. Sunday. Ever."

Chikara laughed, and Ryuu swooned.

He was probably going to be doing a lot of that from now on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo, thanks for reading, I hope you had a good time!

**Author's Note:**

> This is gonna be multichaptered and I'm slightly scared about that because the last multichap fic I wrote I ended up hating and I orphaned it. Let's hope for the best.


End file.
